Doing nothing

I am in between a major change in my life and trying to just be, AND i am finding it as the hardest thing to do! there has always been a plan , a routine and an objective to my days. Not that my life is so hectic or that i am so important a person that it is needed. Its just that i am wired like that. But this time i have decided to break that circuit and do things differently. why? because i love to experiment and experience, because i want to know whether i can do it, i want to know how it feels. I want to find out what i think about myself without the packaging of designations, roles and a list of things to do against which i what i tick makes me derive my self worth.
I want to be in a vaccum and just observe. Its the hardest thing i have ever done. I oscillate from feeling completely useless and bored to feeling peace and in a state of refuelling. Each day brings with it some new revelation, be it a hectic day or a completely inactive eat-read sleep kind of a day, and mind you the revelations vary from the most mundane like the kadi patta plant's growth spurts to the most amazing soul searching ones. What is constant is a state of awareness to all things big and small, on the inside and outside and most importantly 'in the moment'.
This state of mind , i know is going to change me in some way, what the change is will know as time goes by...